Happy 1 Year Anniversary, May Day, and Girding

Brewed Beverage of Choice: 2 Pints of May Day Mild while listening to Bushido Karaoke by May Day - sense a theme???

First off let me just say that Brewed Musings is officially 1 year old. What did we do on our birthday? Well let's just say the pint was never empty and we woke up with a splitting headache, lying next to some strange blog. We will regret that evening for many a year. Here is to many more years of senseless, chaotic musings!

Next, Happy May Day to you all. I could ramble on about some Socialist propaganda, workers' rights, and other stuff. But I am feeling pretty nice right now and will spare you. So let's just raise a glass and toast for another safe work year.

So let's get to the real nitty-gritty here. This morning I decided to buy a newspaper for the train ride to work. It must be said that both the Oregonian (PDX's daily newspaper) and the Willamette Week (PDX's Indie rag) are pretty pathetic. The only reason I bought the paper today was because of the Sudoku puzzle in the living section. They are so very addictive. Anyway, the headline on today's edition not only baffled me, but it also made me laugh out loud. I am still apologizing to my fellow passengers for disturbing them. The headline (with its byline) is as follows: Employers Gird for Immigration Protests - Boycott: Backers say a nationwide work stoppage would show strength, but others say it could backfire.

WHAT???

Alright, I do admit that my vocabulary is not the greatest in the world. In fact I just call it ugly. But what the hell does 'gird' mean? I had to look it up when I got home and I still do not think they used it correctly. Gird - 1. Encircle or secure with a belt or band. 2. Enclose or encircle. (Confusingly scratching my head...)

Here is my theory with this headline. Either a) the headline was written by some recently graduated grad student trying to show off, or b) someone just decided to let the Thesaurus do the work for them. The word, gird, just looks like some word you would find in the vocabulary section of the GRE test. (Side story...When I was studying for the GRE, I showed some of the words in the practice test to my professor and she politely replied, "I don't think half the professors on the floor even know what that word means." Sorry...I forgot what word to which she was referring.)

My next gripe, if you have not guessed has to do with the byline. Boycott: Backers say a nationwide work stoppage would show strength, but others say it could backfire. Well there is someone letting the world know their opinion. Let's see...Half the people think the boycott could work, while the other half think it could blow up in our faces. As Lewis Black would say, "Why the fuck even open your mouth." I could go on with complaining about this grand headline, but why bother.

It just reminds me of how terrible the news has gotten. Not in the too much violence, drugs, etc type of bad, but the poorly reported news type of bad. The other night I was watching the news before bed and a late breaking story interrupted the otherwise mundane sensationalism. The late breaking story - A person got stabbed at some street corner. Sure...A very newsworthy item. But wait.

The anchor person tells us what the story is and then cuts to the reporter covering the story. "Dianne, what can you tell us about the incident?"
"Well, Kevin, there is very little detail right now. All I can say is a person on the street corner up the street from where I am standing was stabbed three times by an unknown assailant. Police are still trying to gather evidence and are speaking to witnesses. We should know more later in the hour. Back to you."

And if that was not enough...20 minutes later Kevin returned to Dianne to shed some more light on the stabbing. "And now we go back to Dianne reporting from NE Portland where someone was stabbed earlier tonight. Dianne."
"Well, Kevin. There is very little more we know about the stabbing. Police are unsure if it is gang related or just a robbery. We will probably know more during the 11 o'clock newscast. Back to you, Kevin."

Are we truly that addicted to the news that we have to hear about a story that really is not a complete story at all? I sat in bed trying to figure out the whole point of what I had just witnessed. The news was actually no news at all. It was just a confusing jumble of little information. So as I got more frustrated, I turned off the so called news and switched to South Park.

And with that I will go and ignore the news, listen to some soothing music, and let my hands gird another pint of ale. Once again, Happy Anniversary and Happy May Day!

Prost!
the zen brewer